apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
