I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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