I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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