Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
