Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
