Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
