Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
