Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
