so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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