wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
