He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
