Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
