I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize