I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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