Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize