it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize