I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
