i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
