will power is for people who don't want to get laid
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
be right there i have to get my cape
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
