you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
