No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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