so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
