I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize