he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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