you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
