this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
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