Pappa wants mamma naked
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
