Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
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