I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
