I looked at my own cervix.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
