he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
