the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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