I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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