I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
