And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish you could order shots online.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
