just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
time to smoke my breakfast
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
