this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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