I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
