dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
