i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
