chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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