yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
