So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
