Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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