i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
