how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize