I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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