So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize