just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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