so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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