I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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