hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
