Banned from zoo.
Again?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
