Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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